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Actually, what I'm thinking is that 'I' may be more separate than we thought. That I'm no longer sure if we really are all just parts of the same Ekho. Maybe I need to do much more intense research on OSDD, with a focus on experiences. We get to define our own, but I'm not sure how to do that anymore, or if we might be holding ourselves back out of social fear. I think that will have to be its own, probably even longer post. (We should probably also write up posts that give context for some of the things in the first one, mostly just because it would be a fun way to break in the new journal.)
Many, if not most, of our nicknames were chosen as placeholders for simpler self-reference while we were figuring ourselves out in the beginning of this year. Most of them in the moment and just based on our irl name or a reference to our species. We were always going to end up changing them individually when we each moved on from "who am I?" to "what do I want?" Ben already did. He was "Nov" for like a week, but it really wasn't him. A good number of us have found ones they like more than their original placeholders; Sender (formerly Night), Alias (formerly Cel), Fishke (formerly Fishmoth—calling that band name) and Stranger (formerly Exo) may come on here to talk about their names once they front again (and remember this exists! Alias was the one who started this earlier today and it just forgot we even had this account, rip).
Valrook never really sat right with me, even though I'm pretty sure I was the one who chose it in the moment. I like "Val." I like "Rook." But Valrook is just a barely-changed reference to my species, and I feel like with the fictional identity I have, my name should be more significant to who I am. More than Ectych, if I'm being honest, though I'll go with that right now, I really do like it, it's just...
Considering my 'types: "Link." "Ghost." "Echo." Etc. There's something in common about these names that I'm noticing. These are both nouns and verbs. These are verbs that give you their own title when you enact them. To link is to be a link. To ghost is to be a ghost. To echo is to be the echo.
As nouns, they are conceptual. Intangible. You cannot touch a ghost. You may hear an echo, but you can't paint one. You cannot picture what a link looks like, at its basest definition, only things that do it; although, they are links too, because they link, and so are you.
As verbs, they are an active choice, but only at surface level. Do you really choose it? Are you still choosing it once you've become it? Are you choosing to be a ghost? An echo?
To glow is to be a glow. To shadow is to be a shadow. To burn is to be the burn, a caustic wound on those around you as you burn through them. To end is to be one: your own. To flicker is to be one, just a moment of sparks. I feel oblivious, like it must be right in front of my nose and all I need to do is reach my hands out into the space between the world and touch it, and it will light up. Maybe a lot like a flicker actually, though I don't know if it should be that.
I'm not sure. I will take Ectych and run with it, but I think really I'm still waiting, and I will be for a long while after everyone else in my system has settled down with their name. Because I'm waiting for it to find me. Everyone else may have run after one and caught it, but I think I'll be sitting here patiently until a verb comes and makes me into a noun.
🜁
Many, if not most, of our nicknames were chosen as placeholders for simpler self-reference while we were figuring ourselves out in the beginning of this year. Most of them in the moment and just based on our irl name or a reference to our species. We were always going to end up changing them individually when we each moved on from "who am I?" to "what do I want?" Ben already did. He was "Nov" for like a week, but it really wasn't him. A good number of us have found ones they like more than their original placeholders; Sender (formerly Night), Alias (formerly Cel), Fishke (formerly Fishmoth—calling that band name) and Stranger (formerly Exo) may come on here to talk about their names once they front again (and remember this exists! Alias was the one who started this earlier today and it just forgot we even had this account, rip).
Valrook never really sat right with me, even though I'm pretty sure I was the one who chose it in the moment. I like "Val." I like "Rook." But Valrook is just a barely-changed reference to my species, and I feel like with the fictional identity I have, my name should be more significant to who I am. More than Ectych, if I'm being honest, though I'll go with that right now, I really do like it, it's just...
Considering my 'types: "Link." "Ghost." "Echo." Etc. There's something in common about these names that I'm noticing. These are both nouns and verbs. These are verbs that give you their own title when you enact them. To link is to be a link. To ghost is to be a ghost. To echo is to be the echo.
As nouns, they are conceptual. Intangible. You cannot touch a ghost. You may hear an echo, but you can't paint one. You cannot picture what a link looks like, at its basest definition, only things that do it; although, they are links too, because they link, and so are you.
As verbs, they are an active choice, but only at surface level. Do you really choose it? Are you still choosing it once you've become it? Are you choosing to be a ghost? An echo?
To glow is to be a glow. To shadow is to be a shadow. To burn is to be the burn, a caustic wound on those around you as you burn through them. To end is to be one: your own. To flicker is to be one, just a moment of sparks. I feel oblivious, like it must be right in front of my nose and all I need to do is reach my hands out into the space between the world and touch it, and it will light up. Maybe a lot like a flicker actually, though I don't know if it should be that.
I'm not sure. I will take Ectych and run with it, but I think really I'm still waiting, and I will be for a long while after everyone else in my system has settled down with their name. Because I'm waiting for it to find me. Everyone else may have run after one and caught it, but I think I'll be sitting here patiently until a verb comes and makes me into a noun.
🜁
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