Wander, eyes closed, following song

need technology to get smart enough to know exactly when kossai actually intend to hit that button or not . so many mistakes just because fingers decide to double click , swap right and left clicks , or scroll one space too far ... sometimes all of these in combination . current accessibility features can only go so far when hit intended buttons in intended ways , but just on accident . 

as signed by kossai who just , in minecraft , kill rabbit through accidental extrusion of 9000 blocks . axiom mod give and axiom mod take . :(

start to restructure some of introductory stuff because , need to face , this become neglected spaghetti again . :P post is now set to private , and will have to tidy up main pin to match . 

come to think more that some of this do not really need to be in introduction to begin with - not that this is all super private , or else would not share to public in first place , but just no longer feel need to have explanation front and centre . with physical nonhumanity in particular , do not really want to feel as if try and justify to others - and think explanations tend to fall short no matter what simply because others do not already have this exact experience . 

but hey , can show off this fun little song page now !

start to think that maybe try too hard to make things happen in lucid dreams .

at one point talk about dream in which fail to open door with telekinesis . remember that first instinct of how to cast telekinesis was theatrical - take power stance , one leg forward and one back , with wavy magical hands . when that fail , next instinct was to strain , as if this was incredibly physical task . and still , this did not work , and eventually reach forward to just open normal-kinetically .

in more recent dream , where forcibly shapeshift one of dream characters , that falter and leave in hybrid state . first instinct of how to cast this force-shapeshift was to focus intensely on character's original form , and so when that inevitably fade from memory , so too did control over character . could no longer focus intently enough to just finish job , and lose lucidity . 

but when actually look back on very first success of lucid dream , in which ... well , no way to put this lightly , summon in character to viciously make out with , there was no effort taken in this . did not have to struggle and build character from ground up . no , process there was simple . first step , think about character . second step , look away from current position . third step , look back , and now character was simply just there to do anything which please . 

then many years later , there was time that become lucid during nightmare , and understandably want to get out . solution there was just about as simple - think of new location , and spin around once to be sent there . 

... of course , if this is core of problem , then have to step back and understand how get here in first place - and think that is just because simple solutions do not feel as satisfactory as all these theatrics . there is no way to harness these abilities when in front , and some courtiers do truly miss abilities like this , so only way to use when front is through dreams . when natural motions of these abilities do not work , theatrical ones become more and more pronounced , until eventually just need to give up . 

but maybe just need to look away , and look back . 

not sure how to actually do this kind of stuff , but also really want to do this for months now - and after really weird wonky day have feeling that just need to do this , get some more fun faerie inspiration out in world . 

so yeah ! fairy-faerie journal jam , or like , FFJJ - just casual little thing . realise some people make things like birthday jams which is possibly most self-indulgent that jam can be , and those get submissions because people just like to make things , so hopefully this can get at least 1 non-kossai submission .